Banging my head against a wall

Ain't anything more charming than meeting someone with the same sense of humour, values and way of seeing life?

Yes, I fell for it, and fell hard.

There's nothing that can be done with people like that, than love them and praise them. Witnessing that level of commitment to their priorities is motivating.

You can only admire how commited they are to work, family, friends and their health. Admire them and wish them the best. Sadly, I don't even have a spot in that list.

After all this time, I have learn you can't change people. You must only learn to love them for who they are, and this sometimes means to let them go. I understand where this person comes from, and there's nothing I wish more for life to give you all the good things you hope and deserve.

And just as you deserve them, I do too. I must stop banging my head on that wall you have built around you. It is not on me to take it down.

I love you with all my heart and I hope one day you find the peace you are so eagerly looking for.

Acting accordingly..

A few days ago while in a meeting, I asked some colleagues "if you could pick your favorite age and stay like that forever, what age would it be and why?" I got some interesting replies, but what got my attention was..most of them chose their 30s.
And when asked why..they would say stuff like... "cause then you know how things work, hardly you will get bullshit"...or... "by that age you know what you want, you don't care about other people's opinion and go for what makes you feel good."

So, it made me feel good realizing I was not the only one feeling like that. At some point, I thought all this "I know what I want" and "I do what I want" came out of surviving so much shit. ..apparently it comes with age.. or the experience...or whatever...

anyway...

thing is... at this point in my life, I have got really good at doing things because they feel good. I don't stop to think what people would say if they find out. I don't care if they agree or not with what I do... if it makes me feel good..it makes my soul feel at peace. ..fuck I'll do it! There's no feeling shit afterwards because I did what I wanted.

This has also empowered me to stop doing things when they are causing pain. I wish I could say I've become good at letting go; because I'm not, but definitely I'm getting better at it.

So...as I sit here looking through my window, I review the past month's events. I guess the time to take the cues given is past gone, and I must accept there are places where I`m not wanted. Even though the outcome might have not been is not what my naive heart grow to expect, I feel ok.  I did what my heart wanted to say and do,. There are abso-fucking-lutely no regrets whatsoever!

April's resolution

Learning to let go and see what happens..



Hoping for the best....

when music finds the words you cant say...

love on the brain

what do I gotta do to get in your motherrfuckin`heart...