God Im old!

as I was on my way home yesterday, the dude who drove me home was listening to a radio and they started playing an old song, I remember while riding in the car with my dad, dudes in the radio saying "do you remember this song?" and I would think like, "damn that people is old!"; but yesterday, yesterday was my turn...that dude in the radio saying, "do you remember this song?...that song that man dedicated to you...that man that you are married now...or that was your first boyfriend..?" I never had a boyfriend at school, and definitely nobody dedicated that song to me, but, I thought, he is right, how many woman my age are listening to that song thinking about their sweetheart at school, or even those who actually got married with them...God I AM OLD!

:::cosmic gate ft Tiff Lacey-open your heart:::

usually I just have a lot of songs in my playlist, I stopped my attempts to have them organize cause for any other reason they would always get messed up again, so now I just have them there, playing in the background while I fight with the customer, and there are sometimes that I get stuck in one and start listening to the same one over and over again, the one Im stuck with right now is this one



and it brought up to my attention that several of the songs Ive been getting stuck with have been featured by this girl, she really rocks :D

anyway, I was craving for some chocolate ice cream today, so as I wanted this so much I decided to go downstairs to buy one, but guess what ? there was no ice cream :( so I ended up eating a pina colada popsicle. the point of this is that brought up to my memory that other flavor I love...pina colada,..there were some candies I loved when I was a kid, I could eat the whole bag at once, you could even feel the tiny pieces of coconut..damn! they were like christmas every day!! jaja

and Ive been trying to find a picture of those candies and the chocolate-mint cookies I love (but havent been able to find them either) but this was the closest I could found....

I do remember they looked something like that, but damn...they were so freaking good...ouh cielos...I want chocolate mint cookies and pina colada candies....and ice cream...

chicken soup for the soul

I used to like to see that TV show, I know it was based on some inspirational books by Jack Canfield, they were really sweet stories and really encouraging, and being as I am I would end up crying each and every episode. [and reading the whole post back it has nothing to do with the rest of it, it was just a blast from the past]

since maybe 6 or 7 years ago I used to do a check up at the end of the year and set up a states I would like to end my year like, it was something like this...
2002 I end up with a boyfriend
2003 I end up pregnant
2004 I end up married
2005 I end up trying to safe my marriage
2006 I end up separated
2007 I was hoping to end it up divorce
2008 I was hoping to end it up divorce and living on my own
2009 who knows.. I got tired of hoping

I guess I stopped doing that review cause looking backwards that way was way way too disappointing, facing the fact that I screw my life year after year and made my self deaf to all the advises coming from the people around me who saw me getting so close to the edge is too frustrating, just makes me feel like getting out of my body and kick myself over and over till my foot would fall.
now, we are really close to the end of the year, that feared annual review is getting really close, this year started with the same vision as the previous ones, "this will be a good one, and we will end it up better than how we started it", many of the goals I set up for myself hasn't been accomplished, they are not even close to get started at some point, but some other things have been done that I had no idea that would happen. so I would say doing a fair balance, this has been so far a good year, I had my share of tears, that night I cried like I haven't cry in such a long long time, that type of crying that u can feel a deep pain the chest, Ive also had really good moments that would make me smile every time I bring those memories up, Ive come up to know that somethings I thought were pure fiction of a fairy tale can actually exist and they are for real, and Ive also come up to grow mature in a lot of things I thought I would never was gonna be able to.

I just can now look forward what's coming ahead

when pills are not what I need....

so, today its a holiday and I'm here stuck at work, what consumerism has done to me; good thing it was a soft day, bad part I was not able to do as much transfers as I wanted cause we were so few people in the morning that was going to show up a lot. so, as I had a few minutes in hand to do anything I was reviewing some of my personal notes, some kinda journal Ive been writing to keep a track on what's going on in my life, I have such a crappy memory that by now I don't even remember half of what happened during the weekend, and that has nothing to do with the beers I had at the beach, they did nothing but to get me sleepy and to get my mom with smoke getting out of her ears, that's always fun, specially cause they are sponsored by my dad and its not coming out of my pocket.
anyway, so I was reading that and realize its been almost a year that Ive been going back and forth on some decision making process, life can definitely change from one day to the other, and Ive notice how much Ive change, a lot of improvement Ide like to say, but some of the most important aspects in my life remain the same, I keep doing the same thing, making decisions that I will not be able to keep, being so weak to change my mind based on someone else's intervention, at this point Ive come to decide that if I could get a super power Id like to be a mind reader, that would make my life easier, period,., so this time trying to keep myself into the road Ive chosen so many times during this last year in my life, curiously what Ive decided that is supposed to make me feel better is making me feel really bad, it makes me wonder if I'm doing what I'm supposed to [ that sounds so lame ] anyway, I just hope something good will come out of all this.
things with the kid are not getting any better or worst, they are just there, I wish I could believe those people who tell me I'm a good mother, I cannot get my kid into follow instructions, its really hard when living with the master of knowledge and wisdom, who will always have the answer on how things must be done but for some mysterious reason he will keep that knowledge for his own but he will always be there available to criticize what I'm doing.
besides that, life's been doing good, that smile I see every night and that sleepy look telling me mamma I love you makes the whole day worth living, no matter how many fights and how much day could have sucked,.,that single moment, the fact of having someone who needs to grab my hand to fall asleep warms my heart and gives me the strength to go on one more day,,.,

Im drowning......

this is like the fourth time I start writting this post but still doesnt feel right...have so many things in my mind I need to get out, but just cant...start typing and typing but, nothing seems to make sense...

so frustrating....having so much to say, but cant......fuck! :´(

but looks like I actually did...[part II]

and waiting for a call end up being more boring than finishing the post so here it is....my second part of my novela archive.....

Sentimientos Ajenos (1996).,.,.nice story, I just remember this one cause of Carlos Ponce ;D

La Usurpadora (1998)...that was a good one, I liked the bad sister better jajajaj

Cafe con aroma de mujer (1998 ?), I loved this one, Ive been looking to download it, the story got so long I got bored, they played it in tv like 3 times and the 3 times I missed the same episodes, it got a point the story got to mess up I got bored, but in general was really really good, I like twe soundtrack, I memorized them...all of them....I still have it :P

yo soy, Betty la fea (1998 ?), that was a good one two...but the original one, the colombian version, all the other ones suck

La Mentira (1998), I guess this was the only one I saw from start to finish and didnt miss any episode, tequila and Guy Ecker....couldnt miss that :D jajajaja

perla (1998) this one I liked it, guess was the first tv azteca novela I saw, it was good.

Verano del 98 (1998) this was I guess the first novela I saw from Telefe, but I saw just saw like 2 seasons but it was really good, the soundtrack was a big thing too :D

Muneca Brava (1998) this was a really, really good one, Natalia Oreiro was hilarious in this character, really good one.

Catalina y Sebastina (1999) the second tv azteca novela I saw, I love how this two dudes work together (Silvia Navarro and Sergio Basañez)

Cabezita (1999) I liked this one, but didnt actually watch it all.

Como en el cine (2001) I liked this one cause pretty much was the tv version of a movie I love (coyote ugly)

and the last one I remember watching is La lola (2008) ..that was really funny, I wanna watch that one again.....

and aparently I had a lot of iddle time during 1998....been thinking what was going on at that time...getting out of school and starting to work and getting ready for university, last year at school I decided to give myself a break so I pretty much didnt care about classes, and I spent a lot of time with my friends, so pretty much I needed to be updated on the main topics of the regular conversations we had....novelas and boys and some other crazy stuff we did but that will be for some other post...

and I thought I didnt watch novelas ......[part I]

and I had a sudden flashback to all the "novelas" Ive seen....

carrusel ( 1989) ...that was a sweet story, I hated the remake "carrusel de las americas" with the chinnesse kid :P ajajjaja (actually i just found out there was a chinnesse kid in the first one too :S)





amor en silencio (1987), I dont remember that much about this one, I do remember the story was sweet, the girl I guess couldn't speak but was in love with the other dude, who was in love with her too but as she couldnt say shit, the love story was kinda complicated...this is the older one I remember watching....






alcanzar una estrella (1990) ,.,that was a good one, I didnt like the second part though












la picara sonadora (1991) , that was a funny one








Baila conmigo (1992)...I dont remember exactly what the story was about, but I liked it cause it was timed in like the 60's,.,nice clothes and music :D












Maria Mercedes (1992) , the only one from the Thalia's series I liked, all the other one sucked









and Im bored now and Im still missing a lot...Ill continue later