Christmas 09

and its Christmas!

when we are lil kids, Christmas here pretty much goes the same way. wearing new clothes, going to grandma's house, play with fireworks, eat tamales, play with more fireworks, go back home, play with more fireworks.
as time went by, tradition in my house was pretty much that for a long long time, till my parents split, so tradition changed, we would go to my grandma's house, my siblings would stay there while I went with my dad to visit my aunt. then we would go back home to be at midnight all together.

this is the first Christmas without my grandma...and I feel totally lost.

I have no idea what we are supposed to do today, should we go to my mom's house, should she go to our house, should I go with my dad to visit my aunt, should I stay at home with her. it is so weird.

I can forecast a tough Christmas tonight, I can tell my mom will not be doing that good, but maybe she will be ok, you never know what's coming with her, that lady is so unpredictable.

overall its a good Christmas, at least, its the first year I dont have to force myself to think on all the good things Ive received this year, happiness its coming by itself, thanks to my family who once again have shown they are always there to support my son and me, to my friends, who make each day at work more bearable and fill me with laughs with all their silly things, to my son, who fills me with kisses and hugs everyday and make me realize how lucky I am to have him even though he gets me tired so damn fast, to my sweety, how has been with me for such a long time as my best friend, just for your mere existence I want to be the best version of me, and I do hope that 1% as you said really makes it up.

Merry Christmas to all, I love you with all my heart!.

que gran dia...

y me dijo...

"Mami, que gran dia..."


indeed it was.... thanks for giving us such a great day =D!

Canada...phase I

and my cousin and her girls are on their way to Canada...like...right now...wish them a nice flight and I hope everything goes up there as we all expect...really good. we are gonna miss you all, I've watched those girls grow up, so beautiful and funny, Caro, Ill miss you so much, you were one of the ones who always made my visits to my aunt´s house so fun and entertained, thanks for all the advises and for always made me feel comfortable, you always treated me as what I am, I´ll miss our talks and now I don't have no body who will support me drinking and smoking there jajajajaj, damn Ill miss you but I know, everything you are doing, you are doing it cause you want the best for your girls, and I'm proud of you cause of that, you have taught me so much, and I know you will do just great there, you know you always count on me, don't forget the plan ;D, hope Ill see you soon...

vacation suck"!¿!!!!!!!!!!

this vacations suck! most of it...been here inside my house for the last week , it´s been boring, and there´s no way I can just lay down and relax cause I have the kid here,
its been fun though, see him trying to keep my mom´s day present as a secret...he lasted like...2 days jajaja

I found this blog, pureblissvocals.blospot.com, really really good one, I specially liked the chillout playlist they have in youtube, I liked this song in particular....






just as a note, this post was completly different, I wrote a lot last night after getting dopped with sleeping pills :$....I just erased some senseless things .....but well, Ill try to make them have a lil bit more sense, thanks for the pic, for coming all the way here and even staying due the circumstances, and thanks for clarifying things, for real you have no idea how bad Ive been feeling cause of that...for real for real..

happy Bday gordita

cigz...none...(so far) [update 4 hours later] :::3 cigz:::
coffee....2 ...update...still 2
today´s my sis bday...that lil girl pisses me off very often, and unfortunately she is so just like me, I would say she might be even a lil bit worst...I feel bad cause she is living things she should know by this time, she worries about some grown up stuff...she should be aware of but, I just hope that will help her to know how to handle things like that when her time comes. anyway....gordita...I know you hate me calling you like that but you know its cause I love you with all my heart and I just hope you´ll grow up to be so much better than me. luv you and hope you have a great bday :D
*-*-
so we got back from the bday celebration..I'm feeling so tired but have a wolf mask to finish, and as usual the customer is already sleep so I cant make sure it will fit ok, we´ll see that in a rush tomorrow.
went to see my grandma, my old lady is looking worst, I hate this cause, now, that it looks like the end is close..and if not I really hope it is cause I hate to see her that way, she used to be so full of life and joy...anyway...what I don't like its feeling this way, feeling that I hope everything will end up soon, don't like to see her so uncomfortable, don't like how it feels not knowing what to say, not knowing how to help, and if I just stay standing in that room I feel I'm just interfering, hope everything gets better soon.