It's tough getting older

"Sometimes to get yourself together, you have to allow yourself to go to pieces first. Sounds puzzling? Well, it can be. If the solution or the root of a problem has been eluding you, it's time to dismantle all the parts that make up the whole and examine each of them separately before you try to build some kind of coalition or solution. That way, you can identify where the issue is and really fix things, as opposed to applying merely a temporary solution"

damn horoscope!-pretty much this is what Ive been trying to do for the past few weeks, each and every inconvenience Ive had had with each and everyone around me; hasnt been easy, leaving selfishness aside and having to say, "yes, I fucked up. Im sorry" is not easy.

Ive allowed myself to go to pieces first, and yes, gotta say, that has been the only way to get myself together to find the road Im supposed to be. Its taking hard work, some things are doing better than others, some are easier than others, some others just look still in a total chaos, but I can tell, Im on my way. It would be a lot of help knowing what people have on their minds, but guess there are things we have to leave to time. only time will tell what the outcome will be. Guess right now, some wounds havent heal yet, at least not enough to allow to forget the pain and continue living.

today was a good day, been craving Chinese food for days, and got to have some today (really good one btw), and got the movies I was wishing for my movie night :D

just missing my chocolate-mint ice cream..but we will leave that for some other good day :D

and as my life is an ongoing soundtrack...

weekend highlights

Your luck is about to change today -- and that could be a good thing or a bad thing.

"Your opinion isn't taken as seriously as you think it should be today, but that just means that you've got to roll with it and come back later when your boss -- or whoever -- is ready to hear the truth."

-and Im becoming addicted to this things,.,.[but to be honest, so far doesnt feel the change is gonna be for good :( ]

Im utterly tired right now, been sleeping an average of 3 hours since friday, my eyes are hurting, cant keep them open. I even fell asleep today, thanks to someones proactivity she woke me up and I was able to get the kid ready on time to go to school, if not Im guessing pretty much we will be both snoring in our bed still.

have parciales this coming weekend, fisica and mate, there's so much to read and exercises to do, as the plan is to have a good night sleep on friday Im trying to do as much as I can these days, Im mostly worried about the theory, cause I havent read shie but I think Im doing kinda good with the other part.

this weekend was an enlightening one, been feeling kinda frustrated regarding some things someone told me months ago and I just couldn't understand them at all, after a few beers apparently people gets in the mood of talking and it was really helpful, realized I was missing the meaning of what has been said and had forgotten all the things Ive gone through, now I get its just a timely manner, I walked that same road so long ago that I just couldnt see what was really going on.

also did some talking with the kid a few days ago; one of my biggest fears has always been, to hear him telling me someday he wants to go live at his grandparents house cause he has more fun there than living with me. pretty much my day with him goes sort like this, in the morning I just get him ready to go to school, fighting to get him out of bed, fighting to get him dress, fighting to get him to eat something and then he leaves, when I come back from work fighting to get him do homework, fighting to get him to have dinner, fighting to get him to sleep, so I feel Im the bad guy here, and when he gets to go to that other house, its all watching tv, eating snacks, doing nothing...so I asked him if he likes to go there and he said...mmm yes...do you like to go there and stay with him (his dad)...mmm..no, not really....do you like to be with me...YES! love you mommy and he closed his eyes and fell asleep, right there,.,that unhesitating answer told me everything is gonna be ok, that Im doing it right and that no matter how hard it looks, I still have my kid who loves me....and that is all what I need.

..and Im adding this song just cause my son likes it :D

just let me know plz

after this weekend Iv been left really tired, have a lot of things to study from fisica and mate, doing so many exercises makes me sleepy, just wanna get home and get some rest.
sunday was really good, family is in good mood right now, spend the afternoon with my mom, had some coffee and did some talking, Im definitely learning to know what to say and how to say it, its kinda exhausting but I know its gonna pay off, hope that at some point it will just cme out right instead of consciously taking care of it.
life is being kind right now, thought things were gonna get really ugly but at the end everything is looking good.

Im trying not to give so much thought on some important things right now, I know some talks should be made but, the feeling of being the one pushing doesnt make me comfortable, definitely some mind reading would come handy but as unfortunately havent developed that skill I will have to wait or...Ill have to wait, dunno,.,too many things going on right now maybe is just not the time.

looking forward the day at the beach, working on vacation has to pay off someday...

something good will come along....

so we went to cafe miranda today, weird thing always happen to me, when I have huge expectations about something, not only doesnt happen, but it turns out to be the worst thing...let me make this with a lil bit of sense...
so...this weekend, I didnt have something specific in mind, but indeed I hoped it was gonna be a good weekend, friday turned out to be a weird senseless day so at night, I really really REALLY wanted to go out to have some beers, but, didnt know who to call to go out, then I thought fuck it! and started drinking here at the house, so as I was drinking and smoking alone, just sitting in my backyard, when I started feeling kinda tipsy decided to stop, but was too late, as soon as I stood up, my head started spinning and I realize how drunk I was...needless to say, by this time I had already burned my finger with the cig..how did that happened?? dont ask...I have no answer...so...I manage to go to bed, after almost falling right on top of my dad who had fell asleep watching tv..:S,.,.,next day, the kid woke me up at a decent time..and as I remembered friday night thought saturday was gonna be a hell but it actually turned out to be good...hangoveringly speaking, so still, waiting for something good to happen....saturday was....boring...really boring, day was so hot...and no hopes of going out at all...spent the night watching tv...my dad left us alone, that was messed up cause there was some kinda temblor around 4:30 am...and that scares me :$..anyway...manage to fall sleep again and today, got a call from one of my friends so we went to cafe miranda to have lunch, was fun, everytime we go there the kid manages to make people laugh there...he had a good time, so that´s good. we came back, had a lil problem at the house, my dad went to the beach so I got upset cause he decided to go the day I was not at the house, I got really pissed off cause Ive been begging him to go, so I felt really bad...but, anyway...that´s what happened this time, I really really hope this was gonna be a good weekend but turned out to be a really messed up one, so guess I wont hope anything for the next one...maybe something good will come along :P