just let me know plz

after this weekend Iv been left really tired, have a lot of things to study from fisica and mate, doing so many exercises makes me sleepy, just wanna get home and get some rest.
sunday was really good, family is in good mood right now, spend the afternoon with my mom, had some coffee and did some talking, Im definitely learning to know what to say and how to say it, its kinda exhausting but I know its gonna pay off, hope that at some point it will just cme out right instead of consciously taking care of it.
life is being kind right now, thought things were gonna get really ugly but at the end everything is looking good.

Im trying not to give so much thought on some important things right now, I know some talks should be made but, the feeling of being the one pushing doesnt make me comfortable, definitely some mind reading would come handy but as unfortunately havent developed that skill I will have to wait or...Ill have to wait, dunno,.,too many things going on right now maybe is just not the time.

looking forward the day at the beach, working on vacation has to pay off someday...

:::Goo goo dolls-before its too late:::

...so live like you mean it
live till you feel it
its all that we need in our lives...

I seem to be doing better of all this sickness thing, the kid got me a lil scared cause he had fever since yesterday afternoon and through the night he stayed at an average of 38º, though today he´s been doing really good.

happy birthday to my mom, sorry mom, you couldnt get away of my "mess up birthday" curse I seem to have this year, dunno why´s that and I certainly wished it wouldnt have happened with you, but damn, you do make it easy young lady. anyway, hope you find some fun in the middle of such darkness.

Im still in the search of some ways to deal with the kid, trying not to stress and to find some patient where I know I dont have any, but, gotta deal with it, there´s no other way.

everything else...dunno, just holding on I guess, for the first time ever I seem to be dealing pretty much good on it, [yeah right!] weird cause I know it has made me feel down really really bad but at the same time I just hope at the end its the best thing to do,., this is just one of those things that make me wish I could see the future to know if Im right or wrong...just time will tell I guess

and I just cant sleep

today has been a really really bad day...good thing is that is about to be over, weird thing, Ive been feeling so bad, not sickness way, since yesterday and as soon as I started typing I can finally cry.

sickness hasnt improved that much, but Ill be going to work tomorrow, we´ll see how that goes.

in the morning we catch up with most of the homework with the kid, that was awful, Im such a bad mother, he had 2 weeks to do all that homework that I made him do in one morning, and I even made him feel how bad he was cause he didnt want to do anything anymore. at noon I took my antibiotics and that thing makes me nausea and makes my body shake so I was not feeling good, besides the whole guilt and anger, I refused to go to my mom´s and made the kid go with my dad and my sister. its is so hard to believe how come after I gave him such a bad time the kid still rathers to stick around with me. anyway, spent the whole afternoon alone, pretty much laying in the couch thinking on something to fix this whole situation. so when my mom finally came home with the kid we started talking about all this thing she thinks the kid has. I have no idea how, but we end up arguing, that right there was me collapsing of so many things that are just going wrong in my life, ....so at the end she left the house upset with me, so there it goes, one more thing to add to the list.

anyway...

I couldnt sleep, planned to watch some movies and to felt asleep that way but had so many things in my mind that thought on some catarsis here as usual, and my dad just came here to try to talk to me, he just killed the whole catarsis thing :( that will help in my plan of getting the kid in some kind of schedule that is supposed to help him get better, hopefuly that´ll do.

everything else, I dont know, guess we will leave that one a side, even though its really hurting; but the sickness, the kid, my mom...too many balls in the air right now I just cant handle anything else. all I can say about that is, I thought I was not gonna be able to do it this time, seems like I was wrong on that, just wish Im wrong on the things that made me go this way but, guess that is one of those things we will never know huh?

one more day...

so...went to the hearing with the compramerica people, as expected they didnt show up; bastards, she said if they dont give me my money back before the second hearing or/and if they dont show up, my case will go to the collective sue they have against them, that process it could take up to 8 months for me to get my money back.
so I guess I better start thinking in a different way to get my laptop and stop taking in consideration that money at least not for a long time, that way Ill stress less more, I definitely dont need any more worriness at this point.
my mom seems to be doing a lil bit better, at least she´s looking for help. so that´s a huge step for her, sometimes I feel bad, cause now that she needs me so much Im not the listener I used to be, that´s one of the parts I had to give up when decided to lock my feelings in a safe place, when trying not to get hurt, you dont let your self feel but then there it goes the emphathy...it went to hell with everything else....anyway..just a thought

If loving you is wrong..[I dont wanna be right]

so, Im still in the reorganization thing, this is becoming harder than what I thought, but Im sure (at least that's what I hope) it will pay off.
last week was a really bad one, but the weekend made it up big time, been spending more time with the kid and now I have another son, both of them made me laugh good on friday, was really really good. on saturday I finally got to get my mom out of the house, doing some shopping and the movies, we had a good time too.
new week has started, let's see how this one goes.
the notebook thing seems will turn into the worst investment done so far, once again paying the price on rushing in, weird thing, Im always procastinating, definitely, procastinating is my thing, but when it comes to important things, very important things, I cant wait, I have to do it like right now, I need to know everything ASAP if not...there's no not I have to period. anyway, Im still waiting, that lil fat ass bitch has till friday to deliver my notebook and my camera.
I just messed up in my last call, I HAVE to focus more on what Im doing, I did what Im supposed to but didnt actually write it down, shame on me, lets hope I was not being audited and Ill have a chance to make it up, (hate the checklist I need to get that thing remove like...now)
souh....weird day today...feeling good somehow...but bad in the other hand, well, guess Im just waiting for good things to happen, been trying all this time to make them happen, this time I wont, Im tired I feel I've been lying to myself so..things gotta change.,.,.,I just hope.,.,.,.,Im not wrong,.,.,.,.,anyway...

...If loving you is wrong.........
........I dont wanna be right .....

finally Im done

finally...parciales are over!!!!! now we can relax and sleep for a few days before starting all over again. this past couple of weeks have been really exhausting for me, guess all the emotional package was overwhelming. anyway, finally, they are over, once I did hit that submit button to send the last homework of the week, I felt so relax.
went to see my mom and had some wine, tried to sleep but for some reason that house never lets me sleep. got the kid sleeping already so Ill take advantage of this, watching some tv and then falling sleep...too bad I have to go to work. lets hope the availability keeps its trend :D