love relationships, cientific facts

so there's this scientific proof that the basis of our reproduction is being driven by 3 aspects, which would be: lust, romantic attraction and attachment.
now lust is given basically by the sex hormones, like testosterone and estrogen that makes us want to have sex with one person, romantic attraction driven by the desire system and its fed by the dopamine and that makes us love a person and there's attachment that is given by some other hormones and another portion in the brain and that makes us want to have a long term bound with someone. all that for me it is so interesting, how the brain works on developing all those different emotions.

now, the down side of all that is...that all those systems are in different parts of the brain, so each of those functions, lust, romantic attraction and attachment do not work together, so people may want to have sex with one person, feel in love with some else but wanting to have a long relationship with a third one.

I just hope to take over all your brain so all those functions would be focus on me ;D

:::love's deceit:::

somehow I remembered this today, guess it helps giving an idea what I think about love, first time I saw this movie I just loved it, one of my favorite ones gotta say.
I was gonna choose some parts to add them here but after spending the whole day listening to it over and over again, I couldn't pick just one line, as it describes exactly my feelings at the moment I had to copy it all here

Pleasure turns to the pain
lessons learned from the strain
questions burned in my brain..
About whether love is humane
in its touch.
These thoughts are like salmon swimming upstream
in the tears of your deceit.
Fighting the current hurt that kills more than is created by the chaos
of our intertwined emotions.
chaotic because the anchor of Eros' arrow has been plucked
from the vessel of my undying infatuation
separation not as simple as the distance between us
my mind no longer possessed by demons
that have been the overseers of my enslavement to your lies
the seeds of these lies rooted so deeply
they have cracked the foundation of what we once shared
allowing the faith in us I had sealed inside
to gush out like a river
ripping the image of our future together from my thoughts
as violently and as brutally as if it were a child
being taken from its mothers arms
I’m left surrounded in darkness
but I refuse to be swallowed by it
my loneliness like the night air
invisible to the eye
obvious to the touch
it is cold uncomfortableness
yet if I could do it all over again
Id do it in the same skin I’m in
to lay down and let love die
just stay down and let love lie?
No, no..not I
Id stay around and let love fly
even though I have seen its darkest form
deceit
nothing else could taste this warm
or feel this sweet...

do you believe in love?

"marriage is like a business transaction"

that was told to me by a customer a few days ago,
after he has called me and my coworkers "idiots" and I told him he better calm down or I would have to release the call and he will be condemned to an endless life full of misery, regret,sorrow and a nonworking tv tuner.

at the end he choose redemption....that one, I gotta say has been so far the most accurate description of what I think marriage is.

so after an hour of troubleshooting and while I was just chatting and loosing time listening to him talking about kids and all the thousands of reasons why he thinks I must have another kid [NOT!!!] asking why I was not married and why I still don't have a boyfriend and where the fuck is the irresponsible airhead stupid ass-hole father of my kid [I swear those are his exact words ;D] he goes and ask....

"Do you believe in love?"

at this point it felt like someone paused all type of activity around me, not even air was allowed to move, I realize that when I started choking, my brain just freeze and I started mumbling, and as if my life depended on that, images of my past and present relationships started to flash in my mind in a desperate seek of an answer, weird images like a Frank Miller movie style, ...then he says ...

"yes...that's the big main question...Do you believe in love?"

I didn't know what to say, I was not able to answer, I just said...what is love? do you know what that is? and I felt like if I had tricked fate in the smartest way a human being can do it, still cant believe why I got so worried about that question coming from someone who just called me idiot, has got married 3 times and thinks this is not the last one and thinks fairy tales are true....

anyway, we end up the call but I was left thinking about that, and Ive been ever since...Do I believe in love? I used to think I did, I used to think it does exist...I used to...

once my dad told me...love doesn't last forever, it dies eventually, so apparently at the end, marriage it is after all a business transaction, you need to look for the best partner, thinking about those things that will help you in the long term, like having someone you love talking with, someone who will know when to leave you alone, someone who will know when to hug you even if you don't hug him back, someone who will trust you, someone who will be your best friend, someone who thinks you are the first person he needs to talk with when something good happens, someone who thinks you are the only one who will comfort him when something bad happens, someone who's voice never gets you bored, someone you need to have around even in those hot bored days when there's absolutely nothing to say or do, someone who will get all your nonsense..

and I know I still haven't answer ..do I believe...?

once upon a time I did, then I didn't, right now, as my life is at this exact moment that I'm sitting in front of my work computer waiting for this dumb customer to open her system I can tell....I DON'T KNOW...I know Im going through some transition stage right now, I can definitely tell that, if this is growing up damn, it hurts. I know I have deep strong feelings that have root deep inside my soul to places I didnt even know I had, at this point I dont know what it is, I do know it has scared the living shit out of me, I found out that one night while reviewing my day at the backyard, is that love? if it is..well...we will leave that whole story on how I realize I was so scared for another post cause this one is just way too long....

what about you? do you believe in love?