God Im old!

as I was on my way home yesterday, the dude who drove me home was listening to a radio and they started playing an old song, I remember while riding in the car with my dad, dudes in the radio saying "do you remember this song?" and I would think like, "damn that people is old!"; but yesterday, yesterday was my turn...that dude in the radio saying, "do you remember this song?...that song that man dedicated to you...that man that you are married now...or that was your first boyfriend..?" I never had a boyfriend at school, and definitely nobody dedicated that song to me, but, I thought, he is right, how many woman my age are listening to that song thinking about their sweetheart at school, or even those who actually got married with them...God I AM OLD!

blast from the past..

as its already known about me, Im a procrastinator; most of the time, its a conscious thing when I CHOOSE to procrastinate whatever I have to do, but, sometimes, my mind chooses to do it, its in those moments that songs from my past come back to my mind and the already know BLAST FROM THE PAST happen... I was advise to post them, at first I thought mmmm nah,., but right now, while listening to this lady screaming in one of my ears and listening to this song on my other one, an image came to my mind.
it was anytime in the early 90's, my parents gave me the best gift ever, a Sony WM-FX28 walkman


and then I became a fan, but like a FAN of Bon Jovi, I would sing his songs over and over again, first thing to do as soon as I came back from school, and even at nights....I would sing as loud as I could, which gotta say, was a big issue, cause I didnt care as having the volume all the way up I couldnt hear myself; what I did was nothing not even close to sing...specially those high pitch he does in this specific song, around that same time I was falling over my knees for a guy, so I would sing it with all the love a 12-15 years old girl can have inside, till I fell asleep or till my dad would come to knock my door or yell at my window to shut up cause I was screaming. next day would be a mandatory thing to go through all the jokes and humiliation he would come up with.
till today he still enjoys making fun of me, and every once in a while he will ask if by now I have learn to sing....

:::cosmic gate ft Tiff Lacey-open your heart:::

usually I just have a lot of songs in my playlist, I stopped my attempts to have them organize cause for any other reason they would always get messed up again, so now I just have them there, playing in the background while I fight with the customer, and there are sometimes that I get stuck in one and start listening to the same one over and over again, the one Im stuck with right now is this one



and it brought up to my attention that several of the songs Ive been getting stuck with have been featured by this girl, she really rocks :D

anyway, I was craving for some chocolate ice cream today, so as I wanted this so much I decided to go downstairs to buy one, but guess what ? there was no ice cream :( so I ended up eating a pina colada popsicle. the point of this is that brought up to my memory that other flavor I love...pina colada,..there were some candies I loved when I was a kid, I could eat the whole bag at once, you could even feel the tiny pieces of coconut..damn! they were like christmas every day!! jaja

and Ive been trying to find a picture of those candies and the chocolate-mint cookies I love (but havent been able to find them either) but this was the closest I could found....

I do remember they looked something like that, but damn...they were so freaking good...ouh cielos...I want chocolate mint cookies and pina colada candies....and ice cream...

chicken soup for the soul

I used to like to see that TV show, I know it was based on some inspirational books by Jack Canfield, they were really sweet stories and really encouraging, and being as I am I would end up crying each and every episode. [and reading the whole post back it has nothing to do with the rest of it, it was just a blast from the past]

since maybe 6 or 7 years ago I used to do a check up at the end of the year and set up a states I would like to end my year like, it was something like this...
2002 I end up with a boyfriend
2003 I end up pregnant
2004 I end up married
2005 I end up trying to safe my marriage
2006 I end up separated
2007 I was hoping to end it up divorce
2008 I was hoping to end it up divorce and living on my own
2009 who knows.. I got tired of hoping

I guess I stopped doing that review cause looking backwards that way was way way too disappointing, facing the fact that I screw my life year after year and made my self deaf to all the advises coming from the people around me who saw me getting so close to the edge is too frustrating, just makes me feel like getting out of my body and kick myself over and over till my foot would fall.
now, we are really close to the end of the year, that feared annual review is getting really close, this year started with the same vision as the previous ones, "this will be a good one, and we will end it up better than how we started it", many of the goals I set up for myself hasn't been accomplished, they are not even close to get started at some point, but some other things have been done that I had no idea that would happen. so I would say doing a fair balance, this has been so far a good year, I had my share of tears, that night I cried like I haven't cry in such a long long time, that type of crying that u can feel a deep pain the chest, Ive also had really good moments that would make me smile every time I bring those memories up, Ive come up to know that somethings I thought were pure fiction of a fairy tale can actually exist and they are for real, and Ive also come up to grow mature in a lot of things I thought I would never was gonna be able to.

I just can now look forward what's coming ahead