Loose Change

 I must admit, this situation has brought up some weird feelings.

She was never my friend, I didn't really liked her or disliked her... she had things that felt annoying but there were moments it was actually nice to hear her.

For unknown reasons they are not together anymore. They way I came up to know about the situation was through gossip, which leads me to believe he has been cheating.. I don't know and won't even bother to ask and confirm. I just see him, so chill... laughing, playing video games, coming and going... again, I know nothing about that relationship.. if I should feel good for him or bad for her...

I can't help to think about her when I see him. Maybe because I somehow see myself in her. I picture her nights alone with her kids, alone again. I don't even remember how many years did their relationship lasted; but it definitely lasted long enough for routines to be created. I picture her crying at night, hugging her kids to get her strength up. It is so... disturbing? complex? interesting? ....normal?! to see someone end a long relationship and just move on with his life.

I love him dearly, and I hope he is making the right decisions. I hope he didn't play with the heart of a single mom and two innocent kids. I send them all my love that I never gave them and all my best wishes... It pains my heart to imagine the sadness they might be going through... I must do an actual effort to picture them having a good time too. Laughing and playing games as a family without his dark clouds around them. I wish for them all the love they can give to each other. 

My son has brought me all the way here... I know and I'm sure your kids will take you as high and far away as their love can. You are doing a great job!