poor thing...

how could I live before...

Road to karaoke — night #2

I must get this out of my system...now!

My kid´s biological father offered him on Christmas to buy him a game, he asked for a PS vita or something like that, sorry I am not into those things so I am pretty much ignorant about them.

The kid begged me to authorize it, so, as that man has not given me a penny for over 8 years, I thought I would say yes this time, and would just leave his stuck in a promise he would not be able to comply with.

Next thing I know, he promises to get him one on January, he didn't see the kid until today... and guess what? the dude bought it... but, here is the catch.. he will keep it!! that mopho... aaaaaaarrgggghhhh

And even before the kid would come back home, I knew that was gonna be his move. The damn game is not for the kid. He bought himself that shit, and will ALLOW the kid to use, whenever he goes to visit him. The fucking-lier-son-of-a-bitch!

Now the kid is asking to go there, any free time he has available... that is the worst part for me...

I know I shouldn't be feeling like this, but it is so hard. I hate myself for getting such a shitty person into our lives. If there would be a way I could go back in time, I would totally do things different, and definitely having that fucker out of our lives would be the main change I would do. I know my whole life would be so much different.

Sorry for the venting session, but I needed to get this shit out..

A piece of heaven

So the kid went from asking for a "permanent dad" to a little brother... again... oO

And even though part of my healing process is to stop stressing about what my expectations are and to just let things happen on its own time, I must say it is hard to find the proper answer to give to my son when he comes up with those type of things..

In the meantime he will have to enjoy my baby O while we get our own...

I looooove this beautiful piece of heaven...

I shouldn´t...

Ya pasaron varios meses, en teoría debería de sentirme mejor. A veces si, me suben la moral y mis amigos hacen un gran esfuerzo por mantenerme sonriendo. Pero se siente tan superficial. Lo extraño, lo amo, con todos sus defectos, sus ronquidos, su simpleza... Lo amo y lo extraño.

Veo la vida q tiene, no lo culpo por no querer regresar. Imagino que eso es lo que le hacia falta, o ahora se dio cuenta que esa vida es la q quiere, o simplemente no me quería y le abrí la puerta para que se fuera. Hasta yo quisiera escapar aunque sea por un día...
Quizas me equivoqué, le corte las alas a un espíritu que añora ser libre, y aunque me duele, y aunque mi mas profundo deseo es que regrese conmigo; no puedo mas que desearle que deje crecer sus hermosas alas de nuevo y que vuele...

Fly as high and as away as you can babe... You were born to be happy, Im sorry I was not able to be the wind you so desperately need...

Just a thought...

I just wonder if you ever even care...