and I know I shouldnt

I know I shouldn't, but I cant help it. Im just so pissed off right now. Kid´s grandparents pass by to pick up my lil sis to go to some church-activities. the kid asked if he could go along, I said no, mainly cause its late (and cause I dont want him to period); so it annoys me they coming here but, guess I kinda handle it. what it really felt like a kick right in my stomach was to hear the kid´s father out there and not even bothering on talking to the kid, (nothing beyond saying hello).
I know that Im contradicting myself here, I do want that man away from my kid, but it really pisses me off the fact of him, caring and taking with him someone else´s kid instead of his own.
it worries me the image the kid must have about the person he should call "father", not really sure what a father is for him. but it really hurts me that his own father is such a jerk.
one thing I know for sure, he will regret it. He has no idea what he is missing. yes, my kid makes me feel I want to hang myself almost 90% of the time, but he is the most amazing thing ever, he is so funny, so cute, so sweet. looking those sweet cute lil eyes, the way he looks at me adn kisses me hundred times and says how much he loves me and how much he misses me, its something I wouldnt change for anything.
Im not gonna deny, I wish I would have waited, I wish I wouldnt have thought I was capable of being a good mother, I wish I wouldve choose the correct person, but ever since I have him, life is million times better, I have a reason to wake up every day, looking forward to come back home, to get those sweet hugs and all my sweet kisses, listening all his nonsense its the most perfect conversation ever.
this weekend we were laying in bed and he was right on top of me, and I said,
me: I still remember when I had you inside my belly...you were soooo small
kid: ouh yes I was small
me: yes, and look at you now, so big...
kid: yes I still remember being inside you, it was so fun, I had all my furniture, and my plants, and my toys...I had everything inside ur belly...

I couldnt stop laughing, my kid is just the best kid I could have....(at least during the day cause at night when he is kicking my back or hitting my face with his fist he doesnt look so cute)

ouh that mopho... he will regret it, I know that...