Love Again

 My vacations are coming to an end.. I did absolutely nothing... my vacations are always boring but this week has taken the prize.

To try to enjoy I decided to watch movies and give the Kdramas a rest. HBO said, why dont you watch this new movie? and I said why not...

I wont talk about the movie... You may watch it.. but nothing out of the ordinary. I do, however, want to talk about one short conversation that resonated in me so much.

Context with SPOILERS

Mira and John are a couple who love each other deeply, John dies and Mira falls in a never ending grief. At some point, Mira asks John about the last message he sent her, he answers: "Of course, I didn't realize that would be the last text I'd ever send you" and she asks "what would you have said?"

This made me try to remember what was the last conversation we had. No matter how hard I tried, I could not remember.. I just remember how, in the most stupid way, I waited and waited for the best moment to reach out; and when I finally decided to reach back... my message was never able to reach him... as of today.. 2+ years later... it is still there... with one check mark only.

I wondered... what would I have said if I knew that was going to be the last chat?

I miss him so much, I will forever wonder what would you have said if I had the shared my good news with you, would you have been proud? 

I would have told him: Señor joven, Thank you for all your support, for all the advises, the call outs, for the harsh words that sometimes where needed, for not letting me feel pity for myself.

Thank you for coming to my life to teach me how to love myself, for helping me understand I was not the problem, for making me forget how different I might look in the outside and for reminding me how does it feel to be loved in the most sweet and naughty way. 

I have missed you, I miss you, I will miss you forever