My life is full of bad decisions. I have these moments in my life when I had this second path that opens up for me, and for whatever reason; someone or myself talk me out of keeping the same path I currently am.
Happened a long time ago when I was offered to move to a different LOB and instead I decided to stay to work on getting promoted
And has now happened again.. when I had decided I wanted to quit and I talked myself on staying.
I decided to stay because leaving felt like a failure, it made me feel I was just giving up and running away
... and I want to stop running away...
against my gut feeling I decided to stay.. was not happy leaving and was not happy staying, 6 months later Im crying that decision.
I HATE my job, I just cant stand it. But there's something in my head that just finds it impossible not to keep on fighting. The reasons are the more stupid:
anyway...
September was a low point.. but damn... this is a new low
a low where I hope I die so I just dont have to go to work anymore but I dont quit but I dont get fired...and I get freed of this nightmare without loosing face.
yes, Im that petty.. Im hoping for an earthquake a mayor chaos where the whole world loses internet connection so I cant work and it is not my fault.
I cant stand people from work.. my team, my boss, my boss's boss... I just cant stand anyone anymore
I.AM.TI-R-ED
I wish with all my heart that I could just shout FUCK THIS SHIT!
but I cant... now that I have vented... I'll go sleep 3 hours so I can get up again and continue a new 16 hours shift
FML
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