catching up

last week of training, and as time is passing by I keep thinking and thinking about how is it going to be.
Ive taken this change the best way I can. Deep inside I guess I was begging for this , so I should be ok with it, this is the fresh new start I needed. leaving behind the burden of 4 years of no accomplished metrics; somehow though, I feel this huge weight on my shoulders, weight Ive been putting on top of myself trying to accomplish now all the things I didnt do before either due laziness or stupidity... pressure to be an L2 in less than 2 months, pressure to get my college degree in 5 years, pressure to be a good mom, pressure to be the best person I can... it´s not that I feel its too much... I know I can do it.. but... how good will I do all of that at once? maybe Im just thinking way too much as usual.

so by now, just trying to get one day at a time, enjoy the few minutes of peace I can get with the kid, enjoy the time with the leading man, and just daydream with the idea that finally Ill get what I need and deserve after so much work.

birthday is coming, building new memories, bad things have been left behind, its good that now I can think about my birthday as a good thing not as a reminder of bad moments. just wish the time would stop and I could catch up with all the things I dreamed I would have had accomplished by this time, guess we will just have to wait, deadline was in 2 years.... 2 years...., cielos, so many things can happen in 2 years!

today I saw the most romantic sweet moment ever, everyday, there´s this lady selling roses right outside the door of the gym were my kid goes to his karate classes, so we were coming out after the class, the kid was walking right in front of my mom and I came right behind both of them, so the kid saw this white rose on the floor and immediately got down grabbed it and handled it to me, I had to tell him to give it back cause we thought the lady had drop it. but I gotta say that was so damn sweet of him, even though he didnt get to give it to me Ill remember that rose as the most beautiful rose ever ~.~