when you know what you want but what you know you want is not what you want

have you ever feel like...you know what you want but when you think you have that thing you think you want you think its not what you want but you know its what you want but you dont actually have it or dont actually want it cause its not what you want.... [and this just totally doesnt make any sense, pretty much I was angry and in need to type...for some weird reason typing helps my angryness to go away..]

third day with stomach acting as a bitch...fifth day with the head bugging in a very random way...tired of this...guess I know what's causing it...but...ehmm...this too shall pass...

so at the end, things worked out ok, I knew everything was gonna be ok but for some weird reason I freaked out even though all the most sane and obvious reasons were there, and I knew them for a fact..was such a fucked up end to the whole story cause, all those mixed emotions come up at once, sucks! well...but that's over...

...how do you ask someone to tell you something about something you know but you dont want to ask that person to tell you something about that thing you know cause you want that person to tell you something about that thing but cause feels the need to say something about that thing not cause you are asking that person to say something....