somehow people have got the idea I'm strong and smart and mature…have no idea how, I'm not strong, wish I could be, and definitely I haven't been smart enough to get myself out of bad situations I've gone trough…mature….guess my kid will have to raise me…that immature I am.
why am I talking about this? its just something that comes up to my mind every time I face things I don't know how to handle. and as the storm will never come alone, I'm getting everything at once, grandma is at the hospital doing very bad, hurts to see her in such a pain, my aunt is at the UCI, haven't been able to go to see her cause of the place she is, my other aunt is in bad conditions too, and my mom is so exhausted and feels so bad to see her like that, she has aged in just few months, and there´s no way Ill let her let me help.
have gone through some wrong roads lately, no regrets, but no happiness either. thought I had found what I've been looking for so long, but end up being the same thing than before, things being said the clearest as possible, I'm still in denial, hitting your face with the truth wall hurts, but it has to wake me up at last.
the vacations, that should be so long expected, are what I knew where going to be, a hell. just one more week to go, and hate to be here, but also hate the idea of going back to those customers. I need a change, but it gets me even more frustrated knowing that no matter what idea I can come up with to get all this out of my system, my hands and feet are tied, nowhere to go, nothing to do…hhhmmm…guess this last one is the reading proof of me just bitching around, hate to do homeworks, specially when I don't see the point of them, anyway.
going to class tomorrow and I hope I wont forget all the things I have to do, I have to take the pic for my titulo, have to get the titulo printed, have to take the titulo to el ministerio which I don't like to go, that people is so bored and rude, and then I have to take it to la Gavidia….and I have to do logica homework, which this time I'm planning to read before trying to do the homework, that´s what I've learned jajajaja.
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and reading this post back, damn so depresing and quejisto…..
I must start writting more fun and happy post from now on..if not I wont post…
but I will leave it here just as a reminder…
ouh I forgot
coffee [since wednesday] ….7
cigs [since wednesday]…9
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